Clearer
by writemeafic
Summary: Sam awakens after being hospitalized having to pick up the pieces where things left off. One thing is for sure- he's a man in love.
1. Dreaming

_** I do not own ROOKIE BLUE! I am simply a fan who loves the show and is excited for the upcoming season! Please write a review if you want me to continue the story, I don't believe you'll regret it :)**_

_**T**_hey say when you're close to dying, you see things only those at the brink of death can see. They say you see a bright light. A plethora of soft white clouds. An angel with golden wisps of hair and a pure white robe. I didn't see any of that. I found myself sitting on a wooden bench in a familiar setting. I knew it then. I was home. Suddenly, a beautiful little boy ran up to me. He had these eyes that resembled someone I loved very much. They were chocolate and so warm.

"Daddy! Come push me!" He called then, catching me off guard.

"Where are your parents?" I asked, looking around the area. The place was a ghost town.

"You're funny, dddaddy!" The little boy giggled, taking my hand.

"Where is your mommy?" I asked him, letting him lead me to the swings.

"There you are! Don't run away like that, Jared! You gave me a heart attack!" The brunette called worriedly. Yes, he most definitely had her eyes. I couldn't breathe as I looked at her. No one else made me feel so weak in the knees. She was so breathtaking.

"Andy?" I called, the words barely escaping my mouth. She didn't turn towards me.

"Momma! Daddy said he'd push me on the swings!" Jared jumped up excitedly in her arms. He was so beautiful, just like his mother.

"Jar, baby. Daddy isn't here, remember?" Andy set him down, crouching to his height. Her eyes were full and heavy as she held his shoulders.

"I just saw him mommy!" Jared wailed, burying his face in her jacket. A single tear rolled down her soft cheek as she hugged the boy.

"He's here with us, baby. He's watching over us. I promise." She told him, rubbing his shoulders.

"Can we go on the swings?" He asked, Jared's head still bowed low.

"Of course baby, I'll be right there." She watched him sprint off and situate himself on the swing, cracking a small sad smile.

"Don't ever leave him, Sam. Don't ever leave me." She cried.

"I love you Sam." She was sobbing there and I felt utterly helpless. I reached out to touch her, my hand going straight through her. I wanted to feel her hand in mine, to hold her so tight and never let go.

All of a sudden, the surroundings grew darker and darker.

"Andy! Andy!" I called.

"ANDY!" I cried in a panic. Everything went black.

I still don't know what it all meant. Premonition. Nightmare. A sign. Maybe just a dream. All I know is that in the moments after, there was only one face I wanted to see. And instead I awoke to Oliver.

"Buddy! You're alive! We were all getting worried there, Sammy boy." Oliver exclaimed, within smooching distance of my face.

"Water." I croaked. Oliver rushed to the pitcher and poured me a glass while two nurses came in.

"Welcome back, Detective. Glad to see you finally awake." The nurse told me, checking my IV.

"How long have I been out?" I asked hoarsely, looking at Ollie who was already dialing the cavalry. Great.

"About a week. Don't worry, the world wasn't the same without you in it." Oliver chimed.

"When can I go home?" I asked the nurses.

"A day or two. You had surgery on your abdomen so you need to take it real easy." The blonde one said.

"Let us know if you need anything, Detective. We are happy to help." The nurse said, smiling coyly at me. Huh?!

"Get me a mirror, Ollie." I groaned, sitting up and immediately regretting it.

"Easy there, speedy! You were shot, remember!?"

"You look great, Sammy. Zoe shaved your face yesterday. It really needed taming." Oliver added, trying to reassure me.

"A week long coma. Wow." I huffed, peering around for my phone.

"Here." Oliver sifted through a bag and pulled it out, handing it to me.

"Thanks. Where's Andy?" I asked, searching my phone for missed calls.

"Aren't you going to ask about Marlo?" Ollie said. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Andy's actually here. Her father had a heart attack a few days ago. He's alright though." Oliver said.

"Tommy had a heart attack? Mcnally, is she okay? She's alright?"

"It's been a rough week for her. With you and her dad both sick- but knowing you're both doing better is probably a relief for her." Ollie sighed.

"Does she know I'm awake?" I asked, feeling hopeful.

"No, but at the volume you were yelling her name when you woke, I'm surprised she didn't hear it!" Oliver joked.

"I was having a dream.. a nightmare.. I don't know man. It started out good at least." I sighed, seeing a cup of Jello to my right.

"Now that I caught you at a good moment- I regret to inform you that for the next week you'll be living in the Shaw residence." Oliver rushed the sentence, just as I'd shoved a glob of green jello in my mouth.

"Why would I do that?" I spewed green everywhere.

"Don't have a conniption, Sammy! It's just a week! Doctors orders!"

"I'm starting to remember what my reality is like now." I grumbled.

"Your girlfriend got suspended. Your ex is dating super soldier. You got shot. Gail likes women now. Reality, man." Oliver informed me.

"You really have a way with words."

"Ma always thought I should be a poet." Oliver joked. Although, I wasn't quite sure he was kidding.

Oliver was chuckling and I was painfully laughing when she walked in.

"S-sam?" She asked, standing in the doorway. I looked up, seeing her in a beautiful red sundress with her hair flowing around her shoulders. Her eyes were deep and rich as I looked into them. It was the first time since I'd awoken that I felt completely okay.

It was then I realized there was only one angel I'd ever need. Her name was Andy Mcnally.


	2. Come Back

"Uh, I'll give you two some privacy. Yeah, let me get outta here." Oliver mumbled, hearing my heart rate monitor quicken.

"Thanks Ollie." Andy said, her hands knitted together nervously. It's just me. That's what I wanted to tel l her. The one you had a flour fight with. The one you sat with for hours at The Penny talking about life. The one who told you lame jokes to try and make you happy.

"Hi." She said, coming closer but still so distant.

"I won't bite, I promise." I said, wincing as I sat up a bit. I know it was hard to look good right now, but I didn't want her to see me like this.

"Stop moving Sam! You'll rip your stitches!" She came closer then, grabbing my hand. My whole body went numb, my heart beating fast.

"I'm so sorry about your dad." I told her. She exhaled loudly, letting go of me.

"Oliver has such a big mouth!" She sighed.

"But he's doing alright?" I asked, looking at her beautiful features. Her lips pursed together as she nodded. She was holding back, I could tell.

"Andy, you can talk to me. I know things have been tense lately but I'm always here for you." I reached out to take her hand and clasped hers in mine.

"Sam-" I looked up to meet her eyes. They were full to the brim with tears, a few spilling over.

"And-" She yanked her hand away, taking a few steps back. It was then she started to sob.

"I thought I was going to lose you, don't you get it Sam? Won't you ever understand how much I care about you- how much I've cared about you?" She cried. I felt pain in my chest as she sobbed, turning away from me.

I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me. How I'd loved her since that first time she'd stood up to me in the locker room. I wanted her to know who she was to me. But the words couldn't escape my mouth.

"I'll talk to you later, Sam. I can't talk about this right now." She cried, walking out of the room. No, this was not okay. I was not going to let this be it. I pulled out my IV, the machine making loud noises as I mustered every ounce of energy in me to sit up.

"AHHH!" I yelled, feeling the pain in my abdomen.

'Andy' I winced, standing only to fall over in the process. I needed to see her. To get through to her.

"Sam! Get back in bed right now!" The blonde nurse rushed to my side.

"You ripped your stitches! Why on earth would you get out of bed?!" She said frustratedly.

"I'm sorry." I said, feeling a tear stinging my cheek. My eyes focused on the door- the open door with no one on the outside.

"I lost her again." I ached, the room going blurry. I wondered if we'd ever get the happiness we both desperately wanted. That little boy on the swing; the white picket fence, the love of my life in my arms forever.


	3. Done

"Sam. Sam, wake up." A voice said. I didn't want to open my eyes. Sleeping felt so good. Being alone felt so safe. When my eyes squinted open, I saw a brunette standing there to my left. Marlo.

"There you are." She smiled, smoothing my hair with her hand. Reality.

"Hey." I smiled lightly back, feeling slightly awkward by the events that had unfolded. It was not Marlo's fault that she was bi-polar. It was however that she had stopped managing it. I refused to judge though- I had no idea what was going on in her head.

"How are you feeling? The nurses told me you had a little fall. They called me and said you were looking for me." She asked.

"No, no, I'm fine Marlo. Thanks for checking on me though. Where is Oliver?"

"He went home for a bit. You've been sleeping most of the day." I glanced at the clock. It was 6pm. Right on cue, my stomach started to rumble.

"I can get you some dinner. I know you like that chicken place down the road from the station!" Marlo exclaimed. She filled my water and handed it to me.

"Marlo, I just wouldn't feel right." I sighed. She looked up, placing the pitcher down.

"Let me do this for you. I feel terrible. I feel like I put you in this position." She stroked her finger against my cheek, leaning in to hug me.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I just.. can't do this anymore." The words came out quick and awkward, and Marlo froze. I didn't want to hurt Marlo, especially since she'd been in a fragile state lately.

"Is this because of the case? Or because of someone else?" She asked, her face cold.

"I guess a bit of both." I felt the pain in my abdomen worsen and rung for the nurse. I needed more drugs, stat.

"You're not in the right mind right now Sam, take a week to mull it over." She said.

"Marlo, I've felt this way for a while. I'm sorry. You're a great girl. I just... love someone else." I couldn't believe I'd admitted it to her. The old Sam could never have been so brave.

"I saw this coming four months back. I just wish it didn't sting so bad." Marlo shook her head, her eyes far and off gaze.

"Feel better." She said shortly, hanging on to the rail of the bed for a few moments, glancing at me, and turning away swiftly.

I was burning bridges, ripping stitches, and for what? What did I have to show for it?

As of now, absolutely nothing.


	4. Restoring Faith

Thank you all for reviewing! It encourages me to write and I love hearing feedback! Can't wait for Season 5 in less than three months! Also a quick change- in my story, Marlo is not fired, she's suspended. Thanks again!

The next day, after moping the previous night, I got a surprise visit from Noelle and the baby, who delightedly sat in my lap while Noelle cheerfully filled me in on the happenings at 15. The baby sat peacefully against my chest, her fingers latched to mine. I could get used to this one day.

"It was a week of insurmountable paperwork, fixing shattered station glass, and yet another case of a stolen squat car. Frank has all of us working speed traps since the numbers are down. I blame Ollie, he always forgets to radar." Noelle said, wearing a red striped button down and jeans. I still couldn't believe they'd finally tied the knot- her and Frank. Well, it was about time.

"And what about Kevin Ford?" Noelle sighed.

"He's gone. Don't worry, he's got quite a charge on him now. As for Marlo, she's suspended for three months without pay. Poor woman."

"Three months?!" I spewed. Marlo deserved punishment, but three months without pay? That was a little bit harsh. Very harsh in fact.

"She left last night. Went to stay with her sister. I think it's for the best. She needs some time to get herself together, and it's crime season." Noelle pursed her lips, looking at me sympathetically.

"It's always crime season these days, Noelle."

"Have you called your sister to come in?" She asked me. I hadn't seen Sarah in over a year. There was no way I was summoning her here because of a simple gun shot wound. She would never let it go- 'Sammy, this is why you should have just gone into real estate!' She'd say.

"She's busy." I said shortly. I loved Sarah to death, but she was a handful.

"Swarek, you're a good guy. Don't shut people out!" Noelle stood up, coming over to me. I was so sick of being bed ridden.

"Noelle, can I ask you a question?"

"Sam, you've known me for how long? Five years? Of course!"

"Do you think... do you think Andy and I have a real chance?" I was embarrassed by the lack of confidence in my tone. I didn't want to admit how much Noelle's answer scared me.

Noelle took my hand, squeezing it tight.

"Sam, I've seen a lot of woman look your way. But I have never seen you so smitten. Yes, there have been some rough patches. But all relationships worth fighting for have tough spots. I think it's finally time you two have that happiness you both, especially you, Sammy, deserve." Noelle glanced at her daughter, smiling lightly.

"I'm ready for this, Noelle. I don't want to wait anymore." I'd never been so sure of anything. Andy had every right in the world to feel the way she did. But so did I.

Aside from the throbbing in my gut, what it also told me was this was the time. We were both alive, both healthy- both cared for one another. I was going to finish what I started. I didn't want to look back. It was time to move forward.


End file.
